Fass Auntie’ing at #HammersHouseParty Chicago

“Put on the Hammer, and you will be rewarded.” It’s true. This story ends with me popping my FUPA onstage with MC Hammer. #Winning

I was super excited about seeing Hammer’s House Party Tour because I rocks with Hammer. It’s not just the nostalgia of his music I loved as a shorty in the 90’s; I’m inspired by his personal story and how he always remained true to himself and his calling, even in the midst of public dismissal. For me, this tour didn’t say, “I’m back!” This tour said “I never left! I’m still killing it, dancing circles around y’all and I’m a living legend.”

Me and my girl Tiff showed up on our Sharane and Sidney flow. I love a good concert where I can dress in theme, and the truth is I’d rock a fanny pack and biker shorts anyway. You’ll probably see me in this outfit again before the summr is over.

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Shout out to the radio station 107.4 for the $10.74 tickets. I got some great seats near the front right on the aisle, which proved to be key for our later stage-rushing shenanigans. 

2 Live Crew, Kid ‘n Play and Sir Mix-a-Lot were also on this tour stop and I had questions. Who are these people who thought this concert would be appropriate for kids with 2 Live Crew on the bill? My face was like 😳 when they came out yelling, “DO MY LADIES RUN THIS MUTHAF*CKA!!”

More cussing and sexual innuendos ensued.

#TeamFassAuntie was here for it, but I was concerned for the babies.

Uncle Luke wasn’t there and they didn’t do “Pop That Coochie.” It was more of a 2 Live Crew·ish set.

I truly love Kid ‘n Play and I have a low-key crush on Christopher Martin. Their set was energetic, and I loved that it felt like they still have fun performing together. After all these years there’s still a brotherhood there.

They did “The Kid ‘n Play” but wasn’t no acrobats and jumping through the legs. These 2019 bodies ain’t 1989 bodies and they know that. They joked Bengay and Icy Hot were sponsors.

When I think of Sir Mix-a-Lot I automatically think about being a little girl watching videos on The Box and waiting for “Baby Got Back” to come on. Before he gave the crowd what we were waiting for, he did “Posse On Broadway” intro’d by some choice words (and not cool fat-shaming) to (presumably)  Lizzo.

He said he was watching MTV earlier that day and a female artist looked dead in the camera and said Sir Mix a-Lot is a one-hit wonder. He never said Lizzo by name, to be fair, but the woman he described sounded like he was referring to Lizzo. Sir reminded the audience that “Posse On Broadway” actually sold millions BEFORE his biggest hit. 

When it was time for “Baby Got Back” Tiff and her girl accepted the invite to work the stage. I didn’t go up. I know, I know. I should’ve at least did it #ForTheCulture because how many times in life do you get to twerk on stage with THEE Sir Mix-a-Lot? I think I was stopped by that part of me that was like, ‘Nope! He didn’t make this song for girls shaped like you, Baby Girl.’ But, I did get video of my peeps and that’s definitely taking one for the team.

I knew Hammer’s set would be a party because they cleared the stage so that it was only lights, speakers and empty space. Even the DJ was positioned offstage. I love watching Hammer do Hammer. Even when he’s not dancing full out he’s still smooth with it.

I’d been stalking his IG practicing the “Pumps and a Bump” choreo and my night was made pretty much after hearing that. The crowd was lukewarm when he did new songs (why we gotta be so dry, Chicago?), but if they had stalked IG like me they, too, could’ve vibed and sang along.

They brought tambourines out on “Pray” and I welcome any excuse to bring out a tambourine. 

Hammer’s dancers are dope, but at times they looked disorganized because a lot of the choreo was individual freestyling. They snapped, though. 

When me and Tiff arrived to the venue and were waiting in line to get in, this dude standing behind us said we looked like we could be back up dancers for Hammer. He spoke a whole word because WE GOT TO BE BACK UP DANCERS FOR MC HAMMER!

I don’t remember Hammer  making an announcement for women to come up on stage, but when we saw a crowd gathering we took our cue from them. I tried to climb over the barricade. This sista security guard smacked my leg!

But we made it to the stage and danced to “Can’t Touch This.”

I touched Hammer’s neck, just to get the sweat of longevity, royalties and more favor. Yesssss! And so it is. 

I live.

💋

For more #HammersHouseParty tour dates, click here.